


When It Hurts You

by twenty3



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Depression, Extremis Tony Stark, Hurt, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Phantom Limb Pain, Sexual Content, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony loses his arm, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27329203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twenty3/pseuds/twenty3
Summary: “Stephen. Please get out of here safely while you still can.”Tony’s soft voice felt heavy in the still air between them. He knew his words would be in vain, but he couldn’t let himself just give up and allow Stephen to unnecessarily stay in harm’s way.“I can’t.”“Yes, you can. FRIDAY found the way out. Levi and the suit will be able to–”“I can’t,” Stephen interrupted, his eyes falling closed. “Because I have to amputate your arm.”When they get trapped under a building, Stephen has to make an impossible decision to free Tony. But the hardest days are still in front of them.
Relationships: IronStrange - Relationship, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 70
Kudos: 205





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for clicking!
> 
> Please mind the tags. While nothing is overly graphic or descriptive, and my medical knowledge is comprised entirely of old 'House' episodes and Google, it's still a sensitive topic. 
> 
> This story has 15 chapters, but some of them are very short, so I'll likely be posting at least two at a time over the next two or so weeks. I've had this in the editing phase for some time now, and have too many WIPs going that I needed to finally get this up.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

When he opens his eyes, Stephen is sure he must be dreaming.

Not because the heads up display of the Iron Man suit was new to him. Tony had shown him every last bit of his technology over the past two years, with extensive explanations on how it all worked and weaved together. A year into their relationship Tony gifted him a pair of glasses linked to FRIDAY, as well as full access to all of his interfaces and even the lab.

So it wasn’t a surprise to see his name and vitals displayed in front of him on the screen. What simply couldn’t be real was the metal, rock and wood debris surrounding him.

Later, Stephen would remember the battle was almost over, by his own estimations, when he was cornered by one of the would be invaders in a cramped alley. Taking down the opponent wasn’t an issue; Stephen was more than capable of handling himself. Except the being from worlds unknown didn’t aim its blaster at Stephen. It aimed at the building behind him, creating a far bigger blast than any of them had seen so far.

Tony was just over a hundred yards away when the building started to fall. Stephen didn’t have a choice. If he turned his back on the bad guy to stop the building from falling, he would be killed. He quickly destroyed the being as it attempted to flee and then whirled around to set to work on the crumbling structure, but it was already too late.

There were no calculations that were done. Tony saw what was happening and made a decision. As he neared the impeding catastrophe, he tapped the housing unit on his chest, collapsing the suit around him. Once the glowing reactor was in his hand, he threw it as hard as he could.

The suit materialized around Stephen without needing any specific instruction from Tony. The billionaire fell rapidly before colliding with the ground, sliding across the rough pavement with his arms coming up to protect his head as brick fell around him.

When the dust finally settled, there was just enough light coming through the cracks in the wreckage to allow visibility. So when Stephen turned his head to the left, he could see Tony, unprotected, laying impossibly still a few feet away.

He was on his knees and scrambling across the cavity they were in immediately. The helmet folded away from his face on its own, knowing his thoughts as well as he did. Next came the gloves, freeing his trembling hands to check for Tony’s pulse.

It was faint. But it was there.

“Tony?” Stephen called, voice raspy. “Tony. Open your eyes. Wake up for me.”

Several long seconds dragged by. Stephen was evaluating the laceration on Tony’s forehead, wondering if it was severe enough to cause a skull fracture, when Tony’s eyelids finally fluttered open to reveal his perfect brown eyes. He looked up at Stephen and blinked until his vision came back into focus.

“Oh, good,” he breathed. “It worked.”

“You douchebag,” Stephen swore. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“That a building was about to fall on you and I couldn’t have that,” Tony mumbled.

Stephen’s anger vanished, if it had even really been there at all. “What hurts?”

“My head,” Tony groaned. “My neck and back. Actually, pretty much everything. I think my arm is broken.” Before he could reply, Stephen saw Tony’s eyes go wide when he tried to move.

For the first time, Stephen’s eyes raked over the entirety of Tony’s body. He was covered in dirt and dust, with a few cuts littered mostly across his chest and face. But the main problem was certainly the solid concrete beam that had landed on Tony’s arm, just above his elbow.

When Stephen moved to try and lift it, Tony’s right hand grabbed his suit covered wrist.

“Don’t,” he warned. “FRIDAY. Scan the damage.”

Seconds later, the response came. “The beam on your arm is supporting the majority of the collapse, boss. Risk of secondary collapse is currently 56%. Any added pressure or movement of that beam, however, increases that risk to 89%.”

“Well,” Tony sighed. “Fuck.”

The fact that Tony was clearly in extreme pain and still able to talk wasn’t a good thing, as far as Stephen was concerned. It meant that his body was used to intense traumas and was able to just deal with it.

“FRIDAY, how long have we been down here?” Stephen asked.

“Seventeen minutes, Doctor. I have alerted Colonel Rhodes and the others. They are currently outside the building. I have been attempting to find a viable way in.”

“Tell them to sit tight,” Tony instructed. “Stephen is on his way out.”

The aforementioned sorcerer looked down at Tony as if he had just spoken in an inter-dimensional language. “Are you out of your mind? I’m not leaving you down here.”

Tony shook his head the entire time Stephen spoke. “You’re not staying. You heard FRIDAY. The risk of a secondary collapse is–”

“56%,” Stephen finished. “It being five times that wouldn’t make me leave you.”

“You need to get out of here,” Tony argued. “I’m stuck. There’s no reason for you to stay. They need your help out there.”

“No, they don’t. They’re god damn superheroes, Tony. They’ll be just fine on their own. I am not leaving you.”

“It’s not worth the risk.”

But Stephen was having none of it. “FRIDAY, alert emergency response.”

“Done, Doctor. The necessary equipment would arrive in three hours, at the earliest.”

Tony watched as Stephen’s face paled slightly. The helmet formed back over his face as he turned to his right, looking down at where Tony’s arm disappeared under the concrete.

“Scan,” he said simply.

For a long time, Stephen was still and silent. When his face finally appeared again, he kept his eyes trained on Tony’s arm, the gears in his head clearly turning.

“I don’t have three hours, do I,” Tony stated more than asked.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Stephen.” The panic edging into Tony’s voice made Stephen turn and look down at him. “Talk to me. Please.”

Pushing his own pulsing anxiety aside, Stephen sent the suit into the housing unit on his chest. He shifted as close as he could to Tony, kneeling at his side. He put one hand in his hair and the other around his wrist, holding his hand in a way that allowed him to monitor Tony’s pulse.

His gray eyes found Tony’s brown ones.

“I think you have a pretty bad concussion based on your pulse and pupils. And your arm – the most serious risk is infection. Crush syndrome will set in after four to six hours. If the timing is off, removing the pressure on your arm will send a toxic chemical release into your bloodstream which could kill you.”

Despite the less than pleasant news, Tony was nodding. “Okay. So what do we do?”

Tears stung Stephen’s eyes. “I don’t know.”


	2. Chapter 2

A drone was able to navigate the only passage FRIDAY deemed safe to deliver water to the captives. Drinking while laying flat on his back and pinned to the ground wasn’t easy for Tony, but he managed. Stephen refused more than a few sips, despite Tony’s protests that they would be sent more if need be. But the taller man didn’t care if he died of thirst. Tony’s comfort, his well being, came first.

The reports from outside were disheartening. The equipment that was needed was currently on the other side of the bridge, being utilized where the attack had originated. Closed roads and various other obstacles weren’t helping matters, either. The original three hour estimated arrival was growing by the minute.

Magic wasn’t a viable option. Even a small, controlled spell would use too much energy. The delicate balance of the collapsed rubble was too sensitive to be disturbed. The mirror dimension, a portal, nothing would be able to ensure their safety.

Almost an hour of relative silence passed between them. Tony drank his bottle of water and finished the rest of Stephen’s while the latter sat on the ground next to him, his hand still in Tony’s hair while the other rested on Tony’s shoulder. The pain in his arm had long since faded, giving way to a numb throbbing more than anything else.

“Stephen. Please get out of here safely while you still can.”

Tony’s soft voice felt heavy in the still air between them. He knew his words would be in vain, but he couldn’t let himself just give up and allow Stephen to unnecessarily stay in harm’s way.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. FRIDAY found the way out. Levi and the suit will be able to–”

“I can’t,” Stephen interrupted, his eyes falling closed. “Because I have to amputate your arm.”

Tony swore Stephen’s voice sounded the exact same as it had that terrible day on Titan.

It really was the only viable option. The equipment needed to stabilize the building and get Tony out would be just as likely to send the rest of it on top of him. The safest way to get him out was to leave the trapped portion of him behind.

When Tony put his hand on Stephen’s arm and gripped tightly, the sorcerer opened his eyes, letting the built up tears finally fall.

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

Stephen let out a shuddering breath. “You’re not asking me. I’m asking you.”

_There’s no other way_ hung unsaid in the air. Stephen knew just how much Tony hated those words, and thus wouldn’t say them if he could help it.

It was clear in Tony’s eyes that he understood as much, anyway.

“FRIDAY,” Tony called, eyes still locked on Stephen’s. “What’s the risk to Stephen?”

“Virtually none, boss,” FRIDAY reported. “I would estimate that in two hours, your blood vessels and veins will be constricted enough to allow for an amputation. The biggest threat remains infection.”

Tony’s hand squeezed Stephen’s arm, but his grip was clearly weakened from the pain and exhaustion.

“I’m so sorry, Stephen,” Tony choked out. “I just wanted to save you. I didn’t mean to cause this.”

“I know,” Stephen sighed, stroking his fingers through Tony’s sweaty hair. “I can’t be mad at you for something I would have done myself.”

“Well, that’s a first,” Tony mused.

The sad smile that came from Stephen told Tony more than words could. That Stephen had agreed because there was a decent chance Tony was going to die, and he didn’t want one of the last things he said to the man he loved to be anywhere near negative.

Stephen tore his eyes from Tony’s before he got too emotional. “FRIDAY. Let me know when the time is right,” he asked. “And let Rhodey know what we need to have sent down.”

“Go out and get it,” Tony suggested. “Wait outside until it’s time in case something happens, in case there’s a collapse.”

But Stephen just shook his head. There was nothing Tony could say to make him leave. If there was going to be a collapse, then it was going to be on the both of them. Stephen didn’t have to say it with words, and Tony didn’t need to articulate that he disagreed.

So with nothing left to argue about, they fell silent. Stephen tugged Levi a bit, helping it adjust under Tony’s head and shoulders a bit more. The cloak had taken it upon itself to give Tony a bit of support and keep him off the hard ground as much as possible by folding up and acting as a pillow.

Tony was clearly having trouble keeping his eyes open. Stephen squeezed his hand firmly. “Hey, honey,” he said, keeping his voice gentle. “I need you to stay awake for me, okay?”

“I’m trying,” Tony sighed.

“I know.” Stephen forced a smile that he hoped came across as genuine. “We’ll be out of here soon.”

Tony curled his hand around Stephen’s. “I promise I’ll do everything you tell me to. I’ll stay in bed and drink whatever concoction you say and won’t try to distract you from taking care of me with sex again.”

A genuine laugh escaped Stephen’s lungs. That last memory was a particularly good one, despite it being associated with Tony suffering several broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder during a battle. What stood out most in Stephen’s mind was the image of Tony straddling his waist, wearing only his boxers. His torso had been littered with bruises, but he was still as beautiful as ever. Looking down at him now, Stephen could see the same spark in his brown eyes that the sorcerer had come to fall more in love with every day.

But the moment passed swiftly due to Stephen’s nagging brain reminding him that after this, Tony wasn’t going to have the energy to disobey any doctor’s orders. He wasn’t going to feel up for anything remotely close to sex for a long time. The thought of what Tony was going to have to go through if he survived this brought fresh tears to Stephen’s eyes.

“We, uh...we need to talk about what’s going to happen.” Stephen saw a flash of anxiety cross his lover’s face, but the other man nodded slightly. “I’m not going to be able to put you under. There’s no way to safely administer anything, and I can’t monitor you while I’m – during the procedure.”

That wasn’t a surprise, but hearing it out loud made Tony’s stomach flip. “Okay. I understand.”

“I’ll give you a local anesthetic on your skin. But once I get down to the muscle, it won’t help.” Stephen watched as Tony took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ll go as fast as I can. Once I get down to the bone and have to use the saw, you’ll pass out, if you haven’t already. Once it’s – as soon as you’re free, the suit will form around you and Levi will help guide it out.”

“How are you getting out?”

“I’ll be right behind you.”

“FRIDAY. Send in another suit.” Stephen went to protest, but Tony was somehow faster. “It’ll keep you protected and get you out much faster. There’s no reason not to.”

Well, when Tony was right, he was right.

“Do you have any questions?” Stephen asked softly.

Without hesitation, Tony shook his head. “No. I trust you.”

So as not to let silence take over and let unease set in, Stephen pressed on. “At the hospital, they’ll get the rest done. I’ll give them as much to work with as I can. You’ll have to stay there for a few days, especially with a concussion and anything else I can’t see. But you’re–” Stephen stopped short. He wasn’t going to lie, wasn’t going to make promises he couldn’t keep. Tony smiled up at him sadly in understanding. “I’m going to do everything I can, Tony.”

The injured superhero gently tugged Stephen’s hand until it was pressed against his chest. He held it there firmly yet gently as he looked up at the other man. “I know. There’s no one else I would ever trust with this. I’m so sorry it has to be you. But I had to do something.”

“I should have been faster, shouldn’t have been in the alley at all. This is–”

“No,” Tony cut in. “It’s not your fault. It just happened. And now we’re going to deal with it.”

Stephen swallowed as he nodded. “Yeah.”

Some time later, FRIDAY passed along that the tools Stephen needed would be delivered within the hour, at which time Tony’s arm would be as ready as it ever would be. Stephen had been talking to Tony quietly, keeping him awake and calm extremely effectively. But hearing that the time had almost come sent a wave of trepidation through him, so much so that Stephen could feel it as much as he could see it.

Even though they hadn’t been together terribly long, they were as close as if they had been all their lives. Reading each other was second nature. All of their quirks, idiosyncrasies, what they loved, what they hated, was known to the other. Stephen could calm Tony down after a nightmare and get him back to sleep as easily as Tony could make Stephen laugh after seeing unfathomable things in another dimension.

But they had yet to go through anything like this.

“Stephen.”

The sorcerer was ripped from his thoughts by the breathy voice of his boyfriend. His lover. His partner. One of the foundations of their relationship was that they were both much better at showing each other their feelings than putting them into words. Of course they still expressed it verbally, but not nearly as often as they did physically. Tony massaging Stephen’s sore hands after a bad day and Stephen kissing Tony’s neck while running his shaky fingers through his hair said as much as novels could.

“You need to know how much I love you,” Tony said after he was sure Stephen’s attention was fully on him. “I know it’s only been two years, but there’s never been any doubt in my mind that you are the love of my life.”

Stephen felt his throat thicken. “Tony, no,” he choked out. “Don’t do this. You can tell me after we get out of here.”

“That might not happen, and you know it,” Tony replied gently. “If something happens, if I don’t wake up or – whatever happens to me, I need to have told you. You saved my life, every single day since I met you. Everything I’ve ever gone through has been worth it to have been with you.”

“Not past tense,” Stephen almost whined. “You’re still here. We’re both still here, and–” a sharp sob choked him up. He gathered himself, knowing he had to be the strong one. “I love you more than I ever thought possible. There isn’t a single thing about you I don’t adore. Being loved by you has made me a better man. But I can’t – fuck. I can’t say goodbye to you. I won’t.”

“I don’t want you to,” Tony breathed shakily. Tears ran from his eyes, clearing paths down his cheeks through the dirt and blood clinging to his face. “No matter what, this isn’t goodbye.”

Stephen brushed his thumb across Tony’s cheek, wiping away the tears. “You are way too stubborn to let this be the end,” he observed, getting a short laugh from Tony. “I’m not letting you go this easily.”

Responding that this was in no way going to be easy was Tony’s first inclination, but he stopped himself. Stephen knew it wasn’t going to be as much as Tony did. Saying it out loud would only detract from the moment.

“I’m not going to give up,” Tony promised. “I’m really looking forward to having you dote on me after all of this.”

The laugh from Stephen that followed remained in the air between them until he leaned down, pressing his lips to Tony’s. The brunet immediately tried to sit up as much as he could to get more contact, but Stephen kept him in place as much as the beam on his arm did. The kiss deepened when Tony opened his mouth, licking into Stephen’s slowly, savoring the taste he didn’t think he would ever be able to forget.

When Stephen eventually pulled away, he didn’t go very far. Just enough to be able to look into Tony’s eyes. The trust and love he saw there was almost overwhelming, but he could tell by Tony’s smile that he was seeing the same reflected in his own.

Nothing was said for a long time. Stephen sat as close as he could to Tony, keeping his fingers sweeping through his hair and letting Tony stay relaxed, but ensuring he wasn’t drifting off to sleep.

Finally, the drone arrived.

Reluctantly, Stephen released Tony’s hand to begin setting up. It didn’t take very long. Two bright lights were arranged around Tony’s head and shoulders. Three scalpels. A compact saw. A tourniquet, gauze, iodine. Tony watched silently as Stephen arranged the items, working on keeping his breathing in check. He did a good job, too, until Stephen sat back on his heels and looked down at him.

“I, uh,” Tony stammered before taking a shaky breath. “I need a minute.”

Stephen’s hand found Tony’s again and held it tightly. “Take deep breaths, Tony. You have all the time you need, okay?”

Tony’s eyes fell closed, unable to look at Stephen without breaking down. “I don’t want to die.”

He wasn’t scared.

He was sad.

And somehow, that tore at Stephen even more.

There was nothing he could say to that.

“I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave Peter and Harley,” Tony pressed on. “I finally have – I’m finally happy. I don’t want to die.”

The next breath he took stuttered in his chest. He tried to ease the air back out and try again, but couldn’t. It felt like the concrete had moved from his arm to his rib cage and was preventing any intake of air from reaching his lungs. Thoughts of everything he would be missing consumed his mind.

Until he felt Stephen’s hand on his face.

“Look at me,” the deep voice commanded gently. Tony could never deny him. He opened his eyes to meet Stephen’s. “You can do this, Tony. You’ve survived worse than this. You are the strongest, bravest person on this entire god damn planet.”

Tony’s hand closed around Stephen’s forearm to try and further ground himself. He focused on the currently green eyes gazing down at him. Suddenly, he was remembering the first time he had looked into Stephen’s eyes from this angle. The first time they had been together. He could see the ceiling of the Sanctum instead of the rubble around them. He felt the soft mattress under his back replacing the hard ground. The smell of tea and old books and _Stephen_.

It was so unfair. This couldn’t just abruptly end. Not like this. Not when everything had been going so well, when everything was damn near perfect.

Somehow, Tony got his breathing under control. He kept repeating to himself that he didn’t need to do anything, just lay there and keep still. Stephen was the one who had to actually do this, and the last thing he needed was Tony breaking down and making this harder for him.

Hanging on to the feeling of the first time he got to be underneath the man currently above him, Tony took three deep breaths and let them out slowly. He moved his hand down to cover Stephen’s on the side of his face and nodded once.

“I’m okay. I’m ready.”

Stephen was about to ask if he was sure, but didn’t need to. The look in Tony’s eyes told him everything he needed to know.

He went quickly, but didn’t rush. He talked Tony through everything he was doing. The internal spell he was using steadied his hands to ensure precision. He wrapped the tourniquet expertly around Tony’s arm, as close to his shoulder as he could get it. Levi continued to support Tony’s neck and shoulders, fluttering gently around him to provide what comfort it could. Stephen moved so he was straddling Tony’s right leg, getting as close to where he would need to work as possible. It would be hell on his back and knees, but that was the last thing on his mind.

When there was nothing left to do, he took a scalpel into his gloved hand and looked down at Tony. The brunet moved his hand to Stephen’s thigh, just above his knee, and gripped firmly.

He didn’t say anything. He just held Stephen’s eyes, nodded once, and turned his head away.

The screaming didn’t start until Stephen put the saw to bone.


	3. Chapter 3

Under other circumstances, Stephen would have been paying attention to what the EMTs around him were saying. It was all directly related to Tony’s condition, after all. But he couldn’t focus on it through the haze he found himself in. His ears were humming and he felt like he was under water, trying to make sense of what was happening up on the surface.

It had taken Tony a lot longer than he had anticipated to finally pass out.

Stephen forced himself to focus on what was in front of him and not behind him. Tony was alive. He was stable. They were almost at the hospital, where he would be well taken care of.

The spot where Tony’s hand had gripped his leg just above his knee throbbed. Not in pain, but as a reminder. Of what he had just done.

It wasn’t until he was inside the hospital, standing in the hallway at the doors Tony had just been rushed through that Stephen started to come back to himself. His inner monologue was largely positive, as he had told himself that if they got to this point, everything would be fine.

Tony would be fine.

Right?

As he turned to find a chair to settle into and ponder the question, Rhodey appeared. The look of concern on his face made Stephen’s legs feel like they were about to give out.

“Are you alright?”

Stephen turned slightly, pointing to where Tony had been taken with an unsteady hand. “He’s in surgery. He should be – everything should be fine.”

Rhodey shook his head. “I know Tony’s in good hands. Are _you_ okay?”

“Yes,” Stephen replied, nodding once. “I’m fine. I wasn’t injured. Few bruises, I guess, but I–” he stopped suddenly, swaying on his feet.

Before he could protest, Rhodey was grabbing his shoulders and steering him into the nearest seat. The colonel sat down next to him, keeping a steadying hand on his shoulder as he looked at him with increasing worry.

“You don’t look okay, Doc,” he observed.

“I’m fine,” Stephen protested.

Rhodey looked doubtful. “I think you need to get something to eat and some rest.”

But Stephen didn’t agree. “No. I need to stay here. Tony – he’s in surgery. I need to stay here.”

“He’s going to be in surgery for a few hours,” Rhodey said. He didn’t leave room for Stephen to say anything else. “When he wakes up, he’s going to need you there. And, no offense, but you look like hell. You need to get cleaned up, get some food or at least some water. I can’t even imagine how difficult what you just went through was. But we both know that when Tony wakes up, you’re going to have to be there for him. He needs you to take care of yourself so he doesn’t wake up and see a bloodied wizard instead of his boyfriend.”

Glancing down, Stephen realized just how right Rhodey was. He was still wearing his robes, and looked like he had been through several battles.

He swallowed hard. “It’s not my blood.”

Rhodey felt his heart drop. “I know. It’s so unfair of me to be asking any more of you than you’ve already done. It doesn’t have to be right this second, but–”

“I know,” Stephen cut in softly. “You’re right. I need to do what he needs so that he’ll be okay.”

“What can I do?” Rhodey asked. “Whatever you need, man. Just tell me.”

Stephen held back a sigh. “Please stay here until I come back. I won’t be gone long. I’ll portal to the Sanctum and get cleaned up. But if you could just wait here, in case anything...” he took a deep breath. “In case something happens, so he won’t be alone.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Rhodey promised. “Take your time.”

Stephen nodded faintly. “Can I bring you anything?”

“No. Don’t worry about me, alright? I’ll be right here when you get back.”

There was no doubt in Stephen’s mind that that was absolutely true.

So he took a moment to regain a bit more energy before opening a portal directly into his bathroom at the Sanctum. His robes fell away from his body on their own as he stepped into the already running shower, closing his eyes as the hot water engulfed his battered body.

He made no attempt to stop the sobs that began taking over.

This would be the only time he would allow himself to lose control. These few minutes when he was alone and could let himself feel all the devastation and pain he had been keeping at bay. The memory of Tony’s screams was even louder in his head than it had been under that building. He would give anything to get rid of it, get rid of the image of what he had to do.

No matter how successful the surgery was, Tony was never going to be the same. Stephen didn’t need to be a doctor to know that amputation would change virtually every aspect of the genius’s life. Especially losing his arm. Tony was an engineer, an inventor. The thought of him not being able to build things made Stephen’s head swim.

All of a sudden, he was doubled over, losing what little was in his stomach to the tiles beneath his bare feet. He choked and gasped for air, but didn’t try to fight the emotions overtaking him. He felt it all, as clearly as he felt the scorching water pelting against his back.

When he was finally out of the shower, Stephen had to use his magic to get dressed. He lacked the energy to do it himself. Comfortable jeans and a soft sweater replaced his robes, making him feel like he was about to meet Tony for a date as opposed to returning to the hospital to wait for him to wake up.

_If he ever does._

Stephen cursed himself for the  negative  thought  as he made his way downstairs. Despite agreeing with Rhodey, there was no way he was going to be able to eat anything. A cup of tea would have to do. He fixed some coffee for Rhodey in the way he was fairly sure he liked before stepping back through to the waiting room he had occupied less than an hour ago.

I nstead of making a comment about Stephen doing the opposite of taking his time, Rhodey accepted the offered cup with a smile. Stephen settled into the seat next to him, despite there being plenty of empty ones allowing them to spread out if they wished.

But they didn’t.


	4. Chapter 4

Only after ensuring Stephen was settled in Tony’s room did Rhodey take his leave. He knew FRIDAY would keep him apprised of any updates as they were available. There was nothing more he could do at this point, and he wanted to give Stephen some privacy while he sat next to Tony’s bedside, waiting for him to wake up.

The doctors assured them both that everything went as well as it could have. They cleaned up Tony’s arm, but didn’t have to do all that much thanks to how well Stephen did. The wound was stapled and stitched shut, wrapped securely in a gauze cast that would need to be changed regularly until the sutures were removed.

But that was days and days away.

At the moment, all that mattered was that Tony was going to be okay. Forever altered, but okay. He was sedated and wouldn’t wake up for several hours. Stephen found solace in how peacefully he was able to rest, knowing all too well how rare that was for him.

Tony was propped on several pillows, angled so none of his body weight was on his left shoulder or remaining portion of his arm. Stephen was sitting on the other side, gently holding his right hand, mindful of the IV lines delivering fluids and the medication helping him to sleep.

With his free hand, Stephen brushed Tony’s hair from his forehead. Dirt and blood still clung to him in places, but that never even registered with Stephen. And even though the high backed chair he was sitting in wasn’t anywhere near comfortable, Stephen found that his eyelids were impossibly heavy.

He made sure he had a firm grip on Tony’s hand before he let himself drift off.

It was just over two hours of a dreamless sleep later when he was roused, but Stephen didn’t know or care how long it had been. His rest had been light enough that the slightest movement on Tony’s end woke him instantly. Stephen sat up quickly, bleary eyes eventually focusing on Tony, who was coming to much slower.

A deep breath accompanied his eyes fluttering open. They immediately settled on Stephen. Once he realized it wasn’t a dream, he smiled.

“Hey, baby.”

Stephen felt tears flood his eyes. “Hi,” he replied, leaning forward to put his hand not holding Tony’s on the hairline of his forehead, careful to avoid the stitched laceration there. “How are you feeling?”

Tony sighed, trying to nuzzle up into Stephen’s touch. “Fucking tired.”

The sorcerer allowed himself to breathe a short laugh. “Do you need some water?”

A short shake of his head was Tony’s reply. He took a deep breath and tried to move, but shooting pain made him stop. His eyes fell across his body to his left where he saw the main source of it. But he didn’t let his gaze linger for very long before he was turning back to Stephen, who had lost his battle against keeping his tears from falling.

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” he whispered.

“Hey,” Tony said, squeezing Stephen’s hand as hard as he could without hurting him. “I’m fine. It’s just an arm.” Internally, Stephen was screaming at himself. Tony had just had his god damn arm cut off, and _he_ was the one comforting _Stephen_. “I would have given the other one, too, just to be able to wake up next to you again.”

Stephen was leaning forward and pressing his lips to Tony’s forehead before he even recognized he was going to. He relished in the warmth coming from the skin there, a sure sign that the man next to him was in fact alive.

“You missed.”

The smile on Tony’s lips when Stephen pulled back was exhausted, but genuine. So Stephen kissed it as soundly as he could.

It was short, but perfect.

“Do you need anything?” Stephen asked when he reluctantly sat back. Tony just shook his head. “Okay. Your vitals all look great. Close your eyes, honey. Go back to sleep.”

Tony sighed again. “You don’t have to stay. You need to rest.”

“Have I ever told you that you’re out of your mind?”

Another smile graced Tony’s lips. “Just about every day for the last two years.”

“So you’re well aware. Good.” Stephen brushed through Tony’s hair slowly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Then do you think you could make yourself useful and get over here?” Tony asked, glancing down at the narrow space next to him. “I’m a little cold and could use the extra warmth.”

It wasn’t best practice, but for the life of him, Stephen couldn’t figure out why. Yes, the bed wasn’t that big. And yes, Tony had just gone through a serious surgery and cuddling wasn’t part of the post-op procedure.

But he had never been able to deny those brown eyes, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now.

Carefully, Tony shifted just enough to give Stephen the necessary room to climb onto the bed next to him. He laid on his side, letting Tony use his chest and shoulder as a pillow. Their hands stayed laced together with not a hint of that changing any time soon.

“Go back to sleep, Tony,” Stephen mumbled into his hair. “I’m right here.”

Tony mumbled something roughly similar to _I love you_ into Stephen’s neck before his breathing deepened as sleep once again claimed him.

Stephen followed only after ensuring the man against him was resting peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First - thank you to everyone for reading, kudos'ing and commenting!
> 
> This story is very different from others I've written in its style. I was feeling like in my other works I had a tendency to veer off in random directions that didn't have much to do with the actual story. Most times because I didn't HAVE an actual story other than Stephen and Tony being dorks in love. So if this feels underdeveloped at points, it's because it is. And I'm sorry for that. I wanted the focus to be on them, again, and tried to keep myself from rambling on. 
> 
> I toyed with posting this as another long story in one go, but am trying to get away from doing that so often. This story, right now, is just over 20,000 words. It makes for short chapters because of how I broke them up. 
> 
> Anyway...hope everyone is enjoying, staying safe and sane and healthy!!


	5. Chapter 5

Five days later, Tony was released from the hospital.

The doctors were all in agreement that the fact he hadn’t developed an infection was an outright miracle. Any type of surgery being done in an environment other than a sterile operating room was never recommended. Not that there had been much of a choice, of course.

True to his earlier word, Tony did everything the doctors and Stephen instructed him to do. He positively hated being in the hospital, and his anxiety spiked because of it, but having Stephen by his side was antidote enough. Rhodey, Peter, and Happy all visited, and Harley had to be outright kicked off FaceTime with Tony on more than one occasion.

Back in the privacy of his own home, Tony’s demeanor almost instantly started to falter. While bedridden he had read everything he could and readily absorbed the information from his doctors. But now, with nothing else to do at the moment but wait for his body to heal, his brain started to turn on him and conjure up worst case scenarios and nightmarish outcomes.

“Are you hungry?”

Stephen’s gentle voice pulled Tony from his thoughts. They had just stepped through the door into the penthouse. Tony was leaning to his right, against Stephen, still trying to get used to balancing with about eight pounds missing on his left side.

He shook his head. “Not really, no. I was actually hoping to finally get all this grime off me. Will you help me take a bath?”

The shyness in Tony’s voice clenched Stephen’s heart. Asking for help had always been the one crux in their relationship. Neither of them were any good at it, but they were both working on it. The fact that Tony was so tired and outwardly vulnerable told Stephen just how much this had taken out of him already.

“Of course,” Stephen replied, pressing a kiss to Tony’s cheek. “Come on.”

Carefully, they made their way through the bedroom and into the en suite. Tony sat on the closed toilet while Stephen readied the bathtub. As it was filling, he turned his attention back to Tony, who was able to stand again without any help; getting his clothes off, however, was another matter entirely.

But they managed. Stephen gently secured a silicon wrap around Tony’s arm to keep the bandage from getting wet. He then maneuvered Tony into the tub, helping him to sit in the hot water. The remaining portion of Tony’s left arm rested on the edge of the porcelain, against a thick towel for the necessary support.

It took a long time, but between their three hands, Tony slowly but surely got clean again. Stephen worked on his hair while Tony scrubbed at the parts of himself that he could reach. After almost a week of being dirty, nothing could possibly feel better than the fresh water against his skin and Stephen’s hands in his hair.

Once the water started to turn murky, a wave of Stephen’s hand replaced it with a new batch of clear water. Tony turned his head, pressing a kiss to Stephen’s wet arm in thanks. He ran out of energy relatively quickly, and had to allow the majority of the washing to be completed by Stephen. While the sorcerer gently massaged his shoulders, Tony let his eyes slip closed and focused on how much better he was feeling.

Getting out of the bath was a bit trickier than getting in. Tony’s skin was slick from the soap, and the warmth of the water made him a lot drowsier than he anticipated. He looped his arm around Stephen’s shoulders while the taller man grabbed his waist to accomplish their goal. Tony was able to dry off mostly on his own, but again turned to Stephen for assistance in getting dressed. Slipping into boxers, sweats and a t-shirt was the simplest of tasks so far.

Upon exiting the bathroom, Stephen tried to gently steer Tony towards the bed, but he shook his head.

“I don’t want to go back to bed just yet,” he almost pleaded. “Can we just hang out for a little bit?”

“Of course,” Stephen agreed with a small smile.

They relocated to the living room, where Tony all but collapsed onto the couch. He winced slightly at the pain in his back and shoulders, but managed to get comfortable enough. Stephen stayed standing for the time being.

“Grilled cheese and tomato soup?” he asked.

Tony nodded after a moment. “Can you–”

“Burn it just a little bit,” Stephen finished for him. “Coming right up.”

As he watched the sorcerer walk away to the kitchen, Tony felt an overwhelming surge of gratefulness for him. Their relationship had never been ordinary, and that was what Tony loved so much about it. Being superheroes didn’t afford for normal lives for either of them, and naturally their involvement with one another followed suit. But there was no question that they made it work, and they were happy together.

What felt like only a few short minutes later, Stephen returned to the living room with a tray of food. Two bowls of tomato soup, a plate of sliced grilled cheese sandwiches and a pair of glasses filled with chocolate milk.

They ate in comfortable silence. Tony dipped each bite of grilled cheese into his bowl of soup, the most effective way for him to eat. He ate more than Stephen expected him to, and drank the entire glass of milk, before settling back into the overstuffed cushions. Without needing to ask, Stephen finished the rest of the food, leaving the dishes on the coffee table to lean back as well.

“Movie?” he suggested.

Tony nodded. “You pick.”

It was no secret to Stephen that decision making wasn’t Tony’s forte when he was run down. Oftentimes, when he hadn’t eaten or slept, it was because he couldn’t make his mind choose what he wanted to eat or when to rest. So he would forgo it altogether.

Stephen chose _The Birdcage_. They had watched it roughly twenty times together, but it always made Tony laugh. The selection sent a message of comfort and understanding that communicated Stephen’s intent better than words could.

As the movie began, Tony leaned to his right against a stack of two pillows. The only contact Stephen made was to spread the blanket he pulled from the back of the couch over the both of them, but otherwise gave Tony space. The brunet really wanted to know just how Stephen could read him so well. After being attended to almost every hour of the last five days, and then needing help bathing, he wanted a little break. It had nothing to do with Stephen. He would have welcomed his touch at any time. But his brain was in over drive, and he needed time to come down from everything that had been happening around him.

Tony didn’t fall asleep during the movie, but he did rest his eyes for short stretches of time. Until he would hear one of Stephen’s favorite scenes, when he would open his eyes to see his reaction. Seeing Stephen smile was something he would never, ever tire of.

When the credits started rolling, Tony looked back over at his clearly tired boyfriend. He stretched out his leg and nudged him gently.

“Hey. Why don’t you go shower?”

“Trying to drop a hint, Stark?”

Tony rolled his eyes, but smiled. “I’m going to give Harley a call before he follows through on his threat to hitch hike here. You should take a half hour to yourself.” Stephen raised an eyebrow. “You don’t need to be by my side at all times, Stephen. I don’t want you to get so worn down taking care of me that you don’t take care of yourself.”

“I’m fine,” Stephen protested.

“And so am I,” Tony added. “I’m not going to pretend that I won’t need you around, because I for fucking sure do. But I want you to have your own time, too. I know you pretty well at this point, Merlin. You need space as much and as often as I do.”

Stephen didn’t want to argue, because he knew Tony was right. But a discussion wasn’t the same as arguing. “Okay. So long as you promise me you’ll not only tell me when you need help, but also if you want me to back off. You won’t hurt my feelings. I don’t want to smother you.”

“Deal,” Tony agreed with a smile. “Against all odds, communication is one of our strong suits. And I’m not saying I don’t want you around. Believe me, I would have lost it by now if it weren’t for you. But I think we can find a good balance.”

“I agree.” Stephen leaned across the couch, pressing a chaste kiss to Tony’s lips before getting up. “Tell Harley I said hi, and remind him that portals are much faster and safer than hitchhiking.” Once in the privacy of the bathroom, Stephen sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “FRIDAY, let me know when he’s off the phone, please.”

“Will do, Doctor.”

He was all for their agreement to give each other the necessary space. But he didn’t agree the first day Tony was home from the hospital was the right time to start to spend long stretches of time in separate rooms. And he knew that wasn’t what Tony meant, either. He did know, however, that the other man was clearly anxious about being a burden on Stephen, and therefore wouldn’t be the one to seek out contact. So Stephen would time it perfectly, by getting out of the bath when Tony got off the phone and taking his time getting dressed and re-emerging. That way, he would have plenty of time talking to Harley, and then a few minutes of quiet to himself.

Of course, Stephen’s plan worked perfectly.

The bath he took was soothing and also rejuvenating. He sat there and let the soapy water wash the hospital feel from his skin, allowing his sore hands to soak the entire time. Upon FRIDAY’s alert, Stephen began his process of drying off and getting dressed.

When he reentered the living room, Tony lit up at the sight of him.

“Much better,” he commented teasingly.

“How’s the wannabe outlaw?” Stephen inquired.

Tony smiled. “Plotting his next scheme, per usual.”

The remainder of their day was short lived. The comforts of finally being out of the hospital made them both realize just how tired they were. Tea and toast served as their dinner, letting them turn their attention towards the more pressing matter of getting some sleep in a bed big enough for the both of them.

Before retiring for the night, Stephen changed the bandage on Tony’s arm. He checked the sutures, nodding his approval. He helped Tony stand and followed him into the bedroom, where Tony came to a stop at the side of the bed Stephen usually occupied.

Tony normally slept on the right side, with Stephen to his left. But the way he had to sleep now would be leaning away from Stephen, and the thought of that made his stomach turn. He turned to the other man, chewing his lip.

“What’s wrong?” Stephen asked in alarm. “Did I do it too tight?”

“No,” Tony replied quickly. “It’s not that. I just – would you mind if we switched sides?” he asked, nodding towards the empty bed. “So that I can be facing you?”

The question took Stephen off guard. Not the words themselves, but that Tony seemed genuinely concerned about the answer. As if Stephen would ever choose a side of the bed over Tony’s comfort.

“I never told you,” he started with a soft laugh. “But I used to sleep on the right side of the bed until we started dating.”

Tony frowned slightly. “Really?”

“Closest to the bathroom in my old apartment, and then coincidentally the Sanctum,” he said with a shrug. “But the point of telling you that is no, I don’t mind. Which side of the bed I sleep on is of zero consequence to me. I would sleep on the floor if that’s what was best for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Tony murmured, stepping closer to Stephen so he could wrap his arm around his waist and pull him into a hug. “You know I only sleep well when I’m next to you.”

Stephen returned the embrace, nuzzling into Tony’s soft hair. “You’ve got me. Always.”

Getting situated in bed was a bit of a process, but together they got it done. Tony let a small mountain of pillows bracket his left side and shoulders while he snuggled closer to Stephen. He looped his right arm around Stephen’s left, resting his head against his chest with a sigh.

“This okay?” he asked sleepily.

Stephen placed a kiss on Tony’s head. “Perfect.”

Neither of them knew it at the time, but what followed was the last full night sleep Tony would have for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst is on its way after a short break here. The rest of the story moves rather quickly, again, to keep myself from rambling off into tangents. 
> 
> Thanks again for the feedback, and hope everyone is doing well with everything going on!


	6. Chapter 6

The phantom pains started eight days after the amputation. Right on schedule.

A sharp jolt of pain woke Tony in the middle of the night. He thought he had moved, bumped his arm against a pillow or something to cause it. When he opened his eyes and took a deep breath, sure to stay still, he knew that wasn’t it when another shock of pain came and stayed.

The doctors had told him about phantom limb pain. He knew that over eighty percent of amputees experienced it. But it just hadn’t been on Tony’s radar quite yet. Getting into a daily routine had been his focus the last week since he had come home, and with Stephen’s help, everything was going as well as could be expected.

Until now.

He sat up slowly, his plan being to grab his pain medication and hope that would be enough to let him fall back asleep. That plan never came to fruition, however. Once he was upright the pain intensified, and he gasped involuntarily.

It was loud enough to wake Stephen up.

The taller man immediately sat up next to Tony. “What’s wrong?” he asked, voice laced with sleep.

“My arm,” Tony muttered. “It’s burning. It’s – fuck, Stephen,” he groaned. “This is worse than the saw. I don’t understand. How is this worse?”

Seeing Tony in any amount of pain always made Stephen feel sick to his stomach. He flicked on the light on his side of the bed to check and make sure Tony’s staples hadn’t come undone. The bandage was still pure white, confirming his fear that this was being caused by phantom pain.

“Take deep breaths,” Stephen instructed calmly. “Try to stay still. I’ll get your pills.”

Tony had been more than hesitant about being prescribed anything after the surgery. His history struggling with addiction made him wary of falling back down that hole, even though pills had never been one of his vices. But there was no arguing with the pain that came with having a limb removed, and after discussing it at length with Stephen, Tony was confident he could manage.

Seconds later, Stephen handed him two pills which he popped into his mouth before swallowing with the water Stephen provided. He then squeezed his eyes shut against the pain, leaning back against the pillows to try and get comfortable. Tony could feel Stephen’s hand slide into his own, but he refused to return his firm grip. There was no way he would cause Stephen any pain knowing just how sensitive his hands were.

“I can feel everything,” Tony choked out. “It feels like the bones are being crushed all over again.”

Stephen used his other hand to brush Tony’s hair off his forehead. “I’m so sorry, Tony. Once your wound heals a bit more, you can start on physical therapy. That will help, I promise. It’s going to get better.”

“I can’t start physical therapy for at least another two weeks. I haven’t even gotten the fucking stitches taken out yet. I thought–”

He stopped himself before he got too emotional. Complaining wasn’t going to get him anywhere, he knew that. So he did his best to stay calm and listen to Stephen’s voice.

“I know, honey.” Stephen had to fight to keep his voice even. “Hold on, I’ll go get an ice pack.”

“No,” Tony pleaded. “Please don’t leave. It’s okay. The pills will help. Please just stay here with me.”

The desperation in Tony’s voice was heartbreaking. Stephen knew he was exhausted from not sleeping well the last few nights. He had been tempted to use a spell to help Tony sleep, but knew that would only exacerbate his problems in the long run. Despite being willing to do anything to help him, all Stephen could do at the moment was lay next to him and hold his hand.

“Do you remember the scavenger hunt you set up for Peter and Harley last summer?” A single tear fell from Tony’s eye when he opened them to look at Stephen. He swallowed and nodded once. Stephen kept his fingers moving through Tony’s hair steadily. “Well, I have a confession to make. I told them where to find a cat statue.”

The faintest of smiles ghosted on Tony’s lips. “I know.”

Stephen frowned. “How?”

“Because it’s not far from the Sanctum, on the route we usually take on our walk to the coffee shop,” Tony explained slowly. “I knew they’d beg you for help with the harder stuff because I took their phones, and that you would remember it and tell them.”

Stephen matched Tony’s smile. “They had so much fun that day. You tired them right out. I think it was the only night that summer they went to bed before three in the morning.”

“I don’t know where they learned that from,” Tony sighed. A moment later, he jerked in pain again as another wave gripped his arm.

For the rest of the night, Stephen talked quietly to Tony, about anything and everything that came to his mind. The medication helped ease the pain, and Tony drifted in and out of sleep, but never stayed out for longer than a few minutes at a time. After a while, though, he found he didn’t mind so much, as long as he had Stephen’s calming voice and warm body next to him.

When the sun started to come up, so did the exhaustion. Tony knew staying in a routine was important, but the thought of doing anything at all after a sleepless night was so daunting.

As if reading his thoughts, Stephen pressed a kiss to his forehead. “We don’t have to do anything today,” he hummed.

“I’m just so tired,” Tony whispered.

“I know, honey. Getting back to a normal routine is important, but it doesn’t happen overnight. You’re allowed, and really should be having full days of rest when you need it.”

Tony nodded. “I just want to get better so that you – I don’t want you to be stuck with me like this.”

At that, Stephen sat up and turned so he was looking down at Tony. “I’m not stuck with you. I’m in love with you, and would do absolutely anything for you. This isn’t something you can rush, and I hate that you feel like you need to for my benefit. It’s something you have to go through. And I’m so, so sorry you do. But you’re not alone. We’re in this together, I promise you.”

Somehow, Tony managed to keep the doubt he felt from showing in his tired eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

“I can fix it.”

Tony’s words swam around Stephen’s head for longer than he cared to admit.

It was five in the morning. Tony had vacated their bed at some point without Stephen’s knowledge. The sorcerer was so drained from running back and forth to Kamar-Taj and other dimensions that he all but passed out as soon as he got home. That had been just after ten the prior night. He guessed that Tony slipped out sometime shortly after, knowing Stephen wouldn’t wake any time soon.

“Fix what?” Stephen asked softly, voice still laced with sleep. He stood behind Tony, who was seated at his desk and scribbling furiously.

Tony huffed. “Everything. My arm. Your hands. Rhodey’s legs. Anyone who has ever had a limb amputated or been paralyzed or has nerve damage.”

For the next half hour, Tony launched into an explanation of how a modified version of the Extremis virus could heal all of the injuries he had previously listed. Stephen’s tired mind was having trouble keeping up, despite his extensive medical training. His main focus was on how manic Tony seemed. The bloodshot eyes. The tremor radiating from his right hand up his arm. His slightly slurred speech and how he jumped around as he talked.

“Tony.” Stephen finally stopped the genius in his tracks. Brown eyes watched him as Stephen knelt down on the floor. “Honey. You need to get some sleep.”

But Tony was shaking his head furiously. “Weren’t you listening? I can fix this,” he said, pointing at the stump of his left arm to emphasize his point. “I _need_ to fix this.”

“Not right this second,” Stephen argued. He could feel Tony’s exhaustion piling on top of his own just by looking at him. “You won’t be able to do anything if you don’t rest, if you don’t–”

“I won’t be able to do anything if I lose you!”

The sudden declaration was marked by Tony getting to his feet so abruptly he almost knocked Stephen over. The chair flew away from the force of the back of Tony’s knees hitting it, sending it halfway across the room. Stephen staggered to his own feet to helplessly watch Tony begin pacing around the area in between his desk and the nearby work table.

Stephen took a deep breath to try and get Tony to do the same. It didn’t work. “How could you possibly think you would lose me?”

“Because this isn’t sustainable!” Tony almost yelled. “You’re never going to stick around if you have to be my doctor all the time and not my boyfriend. It’s not – you’re going to leave. If I can’t get back to normal, or as close to normal as I can even be, then you’ll...I can’t lose you.”

“You’re not going to.” Stephen took a step forward, but it only made Tony more frantic, so he stopped and remained still. “I don’t want you to be back to normal. I just want you to be okay.”

“For right now, maybe,” Tony scoffed. “But what about in another two months? In six? A year? It’s only going to get worse, Stephen, not better. Are you looking forward to helping me shower and get dressed more often than not? And only having sex once a month, if that? If I even _can_ anymore?”

While Tony had been ranting, Stephen managed to get close enough to him to reach out and gently grab his shoulders to stop his pacing. He held onto him firmly, making Tony look up at him, eyes filled with tears.

Stephen moved a shaking hand to the side of Tony’s face. “Tony. None of that is going to make me leave you. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t love you any less than I did before.”

“It’s not fair.” Tony’s intent was to yell again. To scream as loud as he could. But instead, his voice came out broken, in a choked sob. “This isn’t fair to you. You’ve already had to deal with all the scars on my chest, my bad shoulder and back and every fucking thing else that’s wrong with me. I can’t make you – there’s no way you’re going to want me after all of this. It’s not fair. I need to fix it, so that I can...I need to be able to...”

Suddenly, Tony started to sway on his feet. His hand flew up to clutch at Stephen’s wrist. The tears overflowed from his eyes, and before Stephen could say anything, Tony broke.

In all their time together, Stephen never saw Tony so low. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen anyone this devastated, this overwhelmed. Stephen wasted no time pulling Tony to him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. When he felt Tony trembling against him as sobs overtook his body, Stephen slowly lowered them down to the ground. He pulled Tony into his lap, keeping him firmly against his chest as he cried.

It was a long time before Tony’s breathing started to get more under control, and only then did Stephen speak.

“I’m always going to want you,” he promised into Tony’s messy hair. “Nothing about you, certainly nothing about your body, will ever change that. I’m hopelessly in love with you, Tony. The way you were when we first met. How you are now. Everything in between.”

Tony’s arm tightened its grip around Stephen’s neck. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry Stephen, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for,” Stephen replied softly. “You’re right. This isn’t fair. You’ve been through so much, and to have to go through this after everything is...” he stopped short as he got choked up himself. “God, Tony, I miss you,” he found himself admitting as his own tears started to fall. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone so much. I should be here, with you. I want to be here with you.”

Tony took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m trying, Stephen. I swear to god I’m try-”

“Stop,” Stephen almost begged. “I know you are. You’re not doing anything wrong. This is just really fucking hard. But I swear to you, it’s going to be okay. One way or another. I promise. I’m going to make this okay.”

Pulling back slowly, Tony looked into Stephen’s gray eyes. “You already do. Every day you make this so much easier for me than it would be without you. I just – fuck. I’m so tired. And I’m so scared that I can’t fix it. Not just for me, but for anyone else. If I can just figure this out, then no one will have to go through this ever again.”

Stephen swept his fingers through Tony’s hair, brushing it away from his forehead. “You’re going to figure it out. You’re Tony Stark. There’s nothing you can’t solve. But I am not going to let you destroy yourself again to save everyone else. I can’t let you do that.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

“I know,” Stephen sighed. “It never is. But it’s what always happens to you.”

“I’m sorry, Stephen, I swear I’m not trying to make this harder for you.”

The response came by way of Stephen pressing his lips softly to Tony’s. It was a barely there kiss, but was apparently what they both needed in the moment. Tony sighed into it, relishing in the feeling of Stephen against him. When they parted, he became even more aware of the weight of his own body begging him for rest.

“You don’t make anything harder,” Stephen assured. When Tony raised an eyebrow suggestively, the sorcerer gave him his best unimpressed look. But his resulting smile betrayed him. Seeing the sparkle back in Tony’s eyes, even for a second, would always do that to him. “Come back to bed. You know I sleep better when you’re with me.”

Using one of his own lines against him made Tony attempt to glare at Stephen, but he didn’t even come close. “Not playing fair, Houdini.”

“Like you ever do,” Stephen retorted.

A smile tugged itself onto Tony’s lips. His hand found its way to the back of Stephen’s neck, toying with the soft hair he found there. “I suppose a little nap won’t kill me.”

Stephen hummed. “Only one way to find out for sure.”

Just about three minutes later, they found themselves cuddled up in their bed together. Tony snuggled into Stephen’s side, using his chest as a pillow while the taller man kept his arms securely around Tony. They let their tired eyes finally close. Despite all the words left unsaid between them at the moment, silence prevailed. A long discussion about Tony’s development of Extremis would have to come at some point. But for now, that would have to wait.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for reading and reviewing! Hope everyone is safe and happy and healthy!

Asking for Bucky’s help was Tony’s idea.

When he first brought it up, Stephen was more than hesitant. Contact with Rogers and his crew had been very limited since everything with Thanos ended. Over two years of only necessary interactions, which was what was best for Tony. And the team as a whole, as it turned out. So when Tony said he was going to reach out to the soldier Stephen tried to talk him out of it at first. But Tony persisted, and eventually had several meetings with Bucky in order to get as much information as he could to make the serum as perfect as he could get it.

And now, it was finally ready. After consulting extensively with Stephen, Bucky, Rhodey, Helen Cho, Bruce Banner. Everyone they could think of. It was time.

The injection would be coupled with Helen’s cradle to create new tissue and repair damaged nerves and tendons. Risk was low, almost non-existent. But FRIDAY running diagnostics and analyzing the formula wasn’t the same as trying it out on a human being.

Which was why Tony was adamant he had to be the guinea pig.

“It has to be me,” Tony argued to the small group in the room.

“We should try it on a smaller scale first,” Stephen countered. “If it can heal my hands, then we work our way up. You don’t start an experiment with–”

“Absolutely not. If it doesn’t work, if something goes wrong, it’ll make your hands worse. That’s not an option. Same with you,” he added, pointing at Rhodey before the Colonel could say anything.

“I can do it,” Bucky offered in his usual reserved way.

Tony shook his head. “No,” he almost snapped. “You’ve been experimented on enough.”

The statement was as much of a shock to Stephen and Rhodey as it was to Bucky. Leave it to Tony Stark to show compassion towards someone who had taken everything from him once upon a time.

Helen finally came to Tony’s aid. “The cradle combined with the serum _will_ regenerate Tony’s arm,” she said resolutely. “If anything goes wrong, I’ll shut it down. But to know we got this right, Tony’s correct. His arm is the best way. Doctor Banner?”

Bruce nodded, aiming it at Stephen. “She’s right.”

Not leaving any room for discussion, Tony made the decision. “Nine tomorrow morning?”

Helen smiled softly. “I’ll have everything ready.”

For the next two hours, Stephen and Tony barely spoke. They returned to the penthouse, where Tony went over the formulas again and again, leaving Stephen to sit quietly in the living room, lost in his thoughts.

He knew that everything was as planned for as it could be. Stephen was more than willing to try the serum on himself. So why was he so worried about Tony being the one to do it?

The answer was quite simple, really. Any additional pain or disappointment to the other man would be nearly impossible to witness. If this didn’t work, if it somehow made things worse, then he didn’t know if Tony would be able to handle it. There was no doubt that Tony was the strongest person Stephen had even met. But even Iron Man has his limits.

“Stephen.”

The soft voice coming from the edge of the living room made the sorcerer finally pull his eyes away from the spot on the wall he had been staring at for the better part of an hour. He looked over to see a worried expression on Tony’s face.

“Hey,” Stephen finally replied, trying to force himself to sound normal.

Tony crossed the room and sat on the couch next to him. “Where did you go?”

Stephen shook his head once. “Nowhere. Just thinking.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Tony said, not needing to ask what exactly Stephen had been thinking about.

“What you’ve done is incredible,” Stephen started by way of response. “This is going to help so many people. It’s an actual miracle. But I just – god, Tony. I want you to have your arm back. I would give you mine if I could. But this has to be for you and not me. Tell me this is for you.”

Tony swallowed hard. “It’s for both of us.”

“No. This has nothing to do with me. I don’t care–”

“Why is it so hard for you to understand that it’s better for me to do something for you than it is to do it for myself?”

Other people would have had to practice mental gymnastics to unpack what Tony had just said. But to Stephen, it was as clear as day.

“Because it scares the hell out of me,” Stephen admitted. “Because if you do this for me, and it doesn’t work, and something goes wrong...I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“You won’t have to do anything,” Tony assured him. He shifted closer to his boyfriend and slid his hand into Stephen’s. “This is going to work.”

Stephen huffed. “You do realize that you’re missing the entire point, right?”

Tony smiled. “Maybe it’s you who’s missing the point.”

“And what would that be?”

“I love you.”

Without meaning to, Stephen raised an eyebrow. “That’s your point?”

Tony nodded. “Yep.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Stephen pointed out.

“Of course it does. I love you. That’s the entire point. Of literally everything.”

Stephen stared at him for a long time. “Do you get how infuriating it is that you make me want to yell at you and kiss you at the same god damn time?”

Tony’s smile only grew. “That’s my best talent, Doc.”

In the end, Stephen opted for the latter. He leaned in until he was able to capture Tony’s lips, kissing him slow and deep. Tony tugged him even closer, letting go of his hand to move it up into Stephen’s hair to hold him firmly in place.

For the first time since Tony’s surgery, their embrace escalated past a few moments of kissing and gradually built up heat between them. Stephen tried to keep himself under control, knowing that Tony’s body wasn’t responding the way it used to due to the trauma he had sustained, but ultimately he was helpless against the force of the brunet. Tony was now kissing him like he needed it to live.

Unable to stop himself, Stephen slid a hand up Tony’s thigh to grip his hip while the other planted itself against Tony’s stomach. The shorter of the pair swung his left leg up, slotting it between Stephen’s as they maneuvered towards each other on the couch. The new angle allowed Stephen to feel the results of their make out session against his leg, where Tony was pressing against him almost desperately.

Tony pulled away from Stephen at that point, both of them breathing heavy. His hips moved slightly by their own accord, trying to get some more friction.

“Well,” Tony said, clearing his throat. “This is new.”

Lingering pain and frustration had put quite the damper on their physical intimacy. Other than light kissing and cuddling, there had been exactly none. Tony’s recovery was the only thing that mattered. But now, for one reason or another, his body was finally responding after so many months of being dormant.

Stephen didn’t have a chance to reply before Tony was slowly moving away from him. “We can wait, though,” he mumbled. “Until my arm is back.”

The sorcerer had enough wherewithal to keep Tony from completely retreating. “Do you want to wait?” he asked, looking into Tony’s eyes. “I must have said it a thousand times. I am no less attracted to you now than I was six months ago. And I would love the chance to prove that to you. But this isn’t my call, no matter what you say. This is your body and your choice. If you want to wait, we will. But it’s not going to be because you’re missing an arm.”

Stephen’s sincere words made a lump form in Tony’s throat. He was relatively overwhelmed with conflicting emotions at the moment. He was aroused for the first time in so long, but he was also suddenly very self-conscious and nervous, even though in the back of his mind he knew he didn’t need to be. And, god, he wanted to do this. He wanted to feel like he had control over his body again, that he could experience anything other than weakness and exhaustion.

“I don’t want to wait,” Tony admitted with a shaky exhale of breath. “But I – fuck. I can’t really...I don’t know what I can do and I don’t want to screw anything up because it’s been so long and I just want to feel you again.”

The sudden rush of words spilling from Tony made Stephen react by moving his hands to frame the other man’s face. Tony instantly melted into the touch, calming down noticeably.

“Can you tell me what you want?” Stephen asked gently.

Tony shook his head, but started talking at the same time. “You. I want you. I just want to be with you again and feel something other than pain.”

Stephen swore he felt his heart crack upon hearing that statement. But he didn’t falter, didn’t let it show. “You’ve got me,” he swore. “However you want.”

“I...” Tony started before trailing off and shaking his head again.

“We can take it slow. Figure it out as we go. We’ve got all the time in the world, honey.”

The endearment effectively quashed all of Tony’s building anxiety. His worry about this being awkward or unpleasant was pushed to the side by his heart swelling at Stephen’s gentle tone. So he nodded slightly and held onto Stephen as the taller man brought them to their feet and down the hall to their bedroom.

Tony made sure he was as involved as he could be, with absolutely zero protest from Stephen. He knew perfectly well how important this was for Tony and was not going to do anything to make him feel anything less than an equal participant in everything they did.

But, of course, Stephen did end up doing most of the work. Which he was more than fine with.

Once Tony was comfortably situated on the bed, Stephen methodically pulled off his clothes. He assisted with his own shirt and pants being removed before turning his full attention to the man under him. No inch of skin went ignored. Not a single scar or rough patch of skin was overlooked. With his lips secured to Tony’s stomach, Stephen slipped off the brunet’s boxers, his hand closing around the hardened flesh that was revealed while his tongue dipped into Tony’s belly button.

Strong fingers curled into Stephen’s hair as he worked his way down to pay tribute to where he could tell Tony wanted him most. The feel of having Tony in his mouth again was almost as explosive for him as it was for Tony. Their senses were dialed all the way up as the room filled with Tony’s panting breath and the sounds coming from where Stephen’s mouth was around Tony’s body.

A gentle tug at Tony’s hips some minutes later allowed Stephen additional access. Normally, the sorcerer would use a spell to conduct the preparations. But right now, there was no way in hell he was letting anything come between them. The pain in his hands be damned. The feeling of being with Tony this way again trumped everything else.

Just when Stephen was about to add more lube to his trembling fingers, Tony tugged on his hair to get his attention. Stephen looked up at the perfect man stretched out above him, seeing the most beautiful sight he had ever laid eyes on. Tony’s lips were red and kiss swollen. A gorgeous blush started on his cheeks and ran down his neck to spread across his scarred chest. His hair was completely disheveled, and his eyes were blown so wide with lust they were black instead of brown.

“It’s too much,” he gasped. Stephen stilled instantly, his heart hammering at the thought that he had caused Tony pain. But his fears were soon quieted. “I can’t – I don’t want to come yet. Not before you’re inside me.”

A shudder rippled throughout Stephen’s body. Without taking time to catch his breath, he let Tony pull him up where their lips came back together as if they were connected by magnets. Tony managed to snake his hand between their bodies and push down Stephen’s boxers enough to stroke his long erection, moaning from the weight of it in his fist alone.

Within a few shorts minutes, they were both worked up to the point of being dangerously close to the edge. So Stephen slowed them down, kissing across Tony’s jaw to his neck lightly.

“Talk to me, Tony,” he purred into his ear. “Tell me what you need.”

It was a sincere struggle for Tony to keep his eyes open against the onslaught of pleasure threatening to take over. His arm was wrapped around Stephen’s waist, blunt nails digging into his side as they rocked against one another.

“Maybe I should – _fuck_ , Stephen, that feels so good. You feel so good.” He was granted a few moments to enjoy the sensations before remembering Stephen was patiently waiting on him. “I think I should be on top of you,” he finally finished. “I want to ride you. Stephen. Please. I need more. I need more of you.”

Carefully, Stephen pulled back and away from Tony. He shifted back to give the other man room to sit up so they could switch positions. Stephen kept his hands firmly on Tony’s hips, helping him to swing his leg over Stephen’s waist and straddle him.

Just as the awkwardness of his missing limb started to set in on Tony, it was being replaced by a flood of warmth as Stephen shrugged enough to let the remnant of Tony’s arm rest on his shoulder.

He didn’t shy away. He didn’t pretend the nub wasn’t there. Instead, he provided support and comfort where there hadn’t been in so long. The action brought tears to Tony’s eyes as he stared down into Stephen’s, whose were just as shiny.

Tony’s right arm came up as well, looping around Stephen’s neck as he started to shift to get more contact. He was just on the verge of begging when Stephen’s hand gripped his hip, lifting him up with ease while his other hand grasped his own length at the base.

There wasn’t any time for Stephen to ask if Tony was ready, or to remind him to tell Stephen to stop if he needed to. Tony let his hips fall down towards Stephen’s body, filling himself with the man below him in one swift motion.

It had been so long. The evidence of which was apparent as soon as they came together. Stephen bit his lip, groaning at the feeling of being encased in Tony’s tight heat, while the brunet lost all the air in his lungs thanks to the stretch of Stephen being inside him once again.

To force Tony to take a minute to adjust, Stephen planted his arm around his waist and leaned forward for a slow kiss. Tony all but melted against him, their bodies pressed together at every available inch.

With their lips still locked together, Tony started to move, and everything else around them ceased to exist.

Stephen matched Tony’s movements while simultaneously helping to guide the other man in his own. It was slow and steady and utterly perfect. Their foreheads pressed together as Tony moved in a controlled rhythm. Stephen released one of his grips on Tony’s hip to replace it on his lover’s neglected erection, which jumped in his hand at the sudden attention.

“Fuck, Stephen,” Tony moaned. “I’m not going to last, baby. I’m so close.”

“You’re incredible, Tony,” Stephen praised before kissing him. “Go ahead. Let go for me.”

A flick of Stephen’s thumb across Tony’s head sent him over the edge. The sudden constriction around him brought Stephen across seconds later. The release after so long was almost overwhelming, for both of them. Stephen managed to keep them both upright as Tony trembled against him. He didn’t dare try to move for fear of causing any pain or discomfort to the other man. So he kept Tony pressed against him, their bodies staying connected as they came down together.

Eventually, Tony’s breathing against Stephen’s neck began to slow. But he was still shaking and clinging to Stephen, prompting the taller of the pair to stroke across Tony’s back soothingly.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly before placing kisses across Tony’s arm.

Exhaling a shaky breath, Tony nodded. “I’m fine. I’m good. I just...” he trailed off to move back enough to look into Stephen’s eyes. “I love you. I never thought – _Stephen_.”

As the name escaped his lips, Tony choked down a sob. Stephen moved his fingers through Tony’s sweaty hair, tugging just enough to help ground him.

“What do you need?” Stephen almost whispered. “Talk to me, Tony. Please.”

“Nothing,” Tony sighed. “This is what I needed. You’re what I need. I can’t – I’m okay, I swear. Just so fucking in love with you I can’t handle it.”

A short laugh made its way out of Stephen’s lungs. He brushed his lips against Tony’s lightly to let them still be able to breathe together. “I can assure you the feeling is quite mutual.”

Tony slid his hand to curve around the spot where Stephen’s neck met his shoulder. “Was it – was this okay? I mean, was it–”

“Do not,” Stephen interrupted firmly, “finish that question.” He kissed Tony soundly to emphasize his point. “How do you feel?”

The redirection worked better than Tony would have thought. “Great,” he responded a little too quickly. Stephen raised an eyebrow slightly. “My arm is a bit sore. But that’s not a surprise.”

“How about a bath?” Stephen suggested.

The soft sigh and gentle nod from Tony was answer enough.

Mere minutes later, they were situated in the over sized tub. Stephen stretched out behind Tony, who leaned back and utilized the comfortable sorcerer behind him. The hot water did wonders to soothe the sore muscles neither of them had used for months. Steam rose around them, encircling them in their own bubble of warmth and comfort.

Just when Stephen assumed they would soak in silence, Tony broke it.

“I won’t do it if you don’t want me to.”

That made Stephen tighten his hold on Tony ever so slightly, but enough that the other man noticed. Stephen moved to rest his chin on Tony’s right shoulder. “It’s not that I don’t want you to,” he replied softly.

“I’m scared too,” Tony said, as if Stephen had spoken more than he had. “But this – it’s going to fix everything. For so many people. It’s going to give them their lives back. Take away so much pain.”

Stephen closed his eyes against the sting of tears. “I know. I just wish it could be _for_ you, and not have to be _because_ of you.”

Due to their arrangement, the frown on Tony’s face went unseen. “What do you mean by that?”

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” Stephen added, ghosting his lips across Tony’s wet skin. “The things you can do...you’re amazing, Tony. But you shouldn’t have to be all the time. I hate that you feel like you have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. I wish that for once, something happened for you instead of _to_ you.”

S omehow, Tony managed to turn around in the water. A decent amount was spilled out on the tile floor, but that was of zero consequence at the moment. He was able to situate himself as comfortably as possible, now in Stephen’s lap so they were facing one another.

“You happened to me,” Tony breathed more than said. “The best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t need anything else, Stephen. I’ve got you.”

A wave of emotion swept over Stephen so intensely that he couldn’t have spoken even if he had had the words t o.  He had to swallow several times before he was able to displace the lump in his throat.

“Yeah,” he finally agreed. “You do. And you always will.”

T hat night, for the first time since the night Tony returned home from the hospital, Tony slept peacefully through to  the  morning.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a perfect example of the fact that most stories I write seem to be in the style of ridiculously long single chapter stories. I'm trying to get back into the habit from 'What if the Storm Ends' and 'The Runaway' where I write actual chapters. So. Sorry that some of these are so insanely short.
> 
> But in any event - than you all for your feedback. I'm glad you're enjoying!!

Helen Cho had been up since four that morning preparing for the procedure. That’s what they were calling it, for lack of a better word. Her slight anxiety was apparently showing, if the look on Rhodey’s face was any indication.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” the colonel assured the doctor.

“You’re not even the least bit concerned about your best friend regrowing an arm?” she inquired.

Rhodey smiled. “Nope.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Because the two of you are geniuses separately. Together you’re basically superhuman. But, honestly, mostly because of him,” Rhodey said, jerking his head towards Stephen.

Helen frowned at that. “But Doctor Strange is nervous.”

“Right, but he’s still letting Tony do it. If there was any sincere doubt in his mind that anything would go wrong, there’s no way he would let him near that cradle. So everything is going to be just fine.”

Even without knowing Doctor Strange that well, Rhodey’s explanation made perfect sense and settled her nerves effectively. A nod of agreement from Bruce was an added bonus.

On the other side of the room, Tony was hooked up to the machine that was running the preliminary biometric scan of his right arm to have a blueprint for the regeneration. Sitting perfectly still while awake was difficult enough for Tony without adding to it the fact that he was currently trying to scold a certain sorcerer as well.

“You are not going to sit there and stare at me for eight hours while I’m in here,” Tony declared.

Stephen looked down at him with his arms crossed over his broad chest. “And you’re going to enforce that how?”

The billionaire had to close his eyes and take a deep breath to keep himself from getting up and enforcing his point. “By asking you very nicely,” he replied, shooting Stephen his best puppy dog eyes.

“I’m not leaving you.”

In the last six plus months, Stephen had said those words to Tony a lot. How many times, neither of them knew. But it had kind of become Stephen’s mantra. Starting from that day under the rubble right up through now, it was something he was constantly reminding Tony of. And it didn’t seem as if he was ever going to stop.

Tony sighed in defeat. “We should have made the damn thing bigger so you could just come in with me,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

“You’ll be asleep the whole time,” Stephen said softly, reaching out to gently massage the back of Tony’s neck. He knew that after everything, Tony had developed a bit of claustrophobia. Rightfully so.

“And when you wake up, I’ll be right here next to you."

The urge to reach out and grab Stephen’s hand was overwhelming. Even more so due to the fact that Tony didn’t have the right number of hands to be able to accomplish it. Instead, he opted for a small smile directed at the man next to him.

“Mr. Stark.” Helen’s voice carried across the room. “The scan is complete.”

Meaning it was finally time.

After shedding his t-shirt, Tony followed Helen over to the cradle, which was open at the moment and resembled a simple mattress. When the procedure was engaged, the tubed sides would come up and encase Tony inside. Before that, his right arm was outfitted with the proper equipment. An IV to deliver fluids while he was asleep, as well as the anesthesia that would keep him under. An oxygen monitor was clipped over his index finger, while a heart rate patch was secured to his chest.

When it was all said and done, Tony carefully laid back, stretching out the best he could and trying to get as comfortable as possible.

“You’ll be monitored the entire time,” Helen reiterated from their conversations leading up to this. “Any irregularities, and we’ll halt the procedure and bring you out.”

Tony nodded once. “Got it.”

With that, Helen retreated to her computer station to prepare the sequence that would initiate the cradle. Stephen stood in her place next to Tony, the mask in his hand ready to administer the gas that would put Tony to sleep. His free hand instantly found its way into Tony’s hair, stroking through it soothingly.

“You ready?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,” Tony said with a smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Stephen returned the smile. “Just keep taking deep breaths, honey. I’ll see you soon.”

With the mask over his mouth, Tony kept his eyes open as long as he could, making sure the last thing he saw before he was out was Stephen’s eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Just under eight hours later, Tony was waking up to the exact same sight.

Stephen’s gray eyes, gazing at him and studying him at the same time.

It was a very welcome sight indeed. Tony didn’t think he would ever get tired of seeing those eyes in any capacity. But seconds later, a surge of nausea overtook Tony’s body. It didn’t take a trained doctor to recognize what the sudden paleness of Tony’s face signified. In one swift motion, Stephen was grabbing the trash can and helping Tony sit up in time to empty his stomach.

A shock of pain shot through Tony’s head. It felt like a migraine, but didn’t stick around. The nausea rolled through once more, but didn’t make him get sick again. His stomach cramped a few times, which was less than pleasant.

“Fucking hell,” Tony gasped when he finally got his breath back. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

Stephen rubbed Tony’s back slowly. “Your body just did something impossible. A reaction like that is alright. Just take some deep breaths.”

That was easier said than done. Tony’s head was pounding steadily. His heart was racing and it felt like no air whatsoever was getting into his lungs. The only solace was in the feel of Stephen’s hand on his back like a lifeline.

But when he looked to his left and saw flesh instead of an empty space, he forgot about how he was currently feeling. He stared down at his new hand, new arm, for several long moments before looking up at Stephen.

“It worked.”

The sorcerer’s smile was almost blinding. “It worked,” he echoed. “It worked perfectly.”

“Can I...” Tony’s eyes flicked between Stephen and his arm. “Can I move it?”

“You tell me.”

Carefully, Tony lifted his arm from the bed. Tears sprung to his eyes at how natural it felt. He turned his hand over, palm up, and flexed his fingers before curling them into a fist.

“How does it feel?” Helen asked, keeping a bit of distance from Tony but unable to contain her eagerness.

Tony took a second to process everything. “Tingling a bit. Like when your foot falls asleep. But it doesn’t hurt.”

“That should go away gradually,” Helen reported. “What else? How do _you_ feel?”

“I have a headache,” Tony reported. His eyes were still locked on his hand. “I feel dehydrated. But not bad. Just – I don’t know. Tired. I...”

He trailed off, letting his eyes wander back up to find Stephen’s. The former neurosurgeon removed his hand from Tony’s back to gently take Tony’s newly formed left hand between both of his.

“Can you feel that?”

All Tony could do was nod.

Stephen lightly trailed his finger from the tip of Tony’s middle finger across his palm, up his arm, over his elbow and to his bicep, where the fusion line between old and new skin was faint, but visible.

“And this?”

“Yeah,” Tony choked out with another nod. “I can feel it.”

“Squeeze my hand,” Stephen directed, sliding his palm over Tony’s. He easily complied with the request. “Now push my hand up.” Done. “And down.” Piece of cake.

“Are you in any pain?” Helen asked, now standing on the other side of Tony’s bed.

He shook his head. “No. It feels a little weird, for sure. But no pain. Just – Jesus Christ. We did it.”

“ _You_ did it,” Stephen corrected.

The sentence was barely out before Tony was using his arm to pull him into a tight hug.

To say Stephen went willingly was a laughable understatement. He returned the embrace enthusiastically, but careful not to cause any additional stress on Tony’s body. The feel of both of Tony’s arms wrapped around him tightly made his breath stutter in his lungs as he focused on the feeling of the man against him.

The feeling of Tony.

For the next several hours, every test imaginable was run on Tony. Not just his arm, but his entire body to ensure they didn’t miss anything during the procedure.

But everything was perfectly normal.

The tingling sensation in his arm went away after less than an hour. The new muscles felt a little tight, but after some light exercise, everything felt fine.

“Minimal physical therapy for the first few weeks will help with any soreness,” Bruce mused as he scribbled on a clipboard. “Doctor Strange?”

Stephen nodded his agreement. “Basic exercises should do the trick. I think periodic tests over the next two weeks should suffice, and then maybe once a week for the next couple months.”

“I love it when you talk doctor,” Tony sighed.

The sorcerer rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “How do you feel?” he asked for what had to have been the hundredth time.

“Perfectly fine,” Tony replied.

Stephen leaned in a bit closer to examine Tony’s eyes. “No more nausea?” Tony shook his head. “What about a headache?”

“Nope,” Tony answered honestly. “That all went away after about an hour or so. I feel fine.”

With that, Stephen turned to Helen and Bruce, who both nodded to themselves.

“No reason he can’t leave,” Bruce offered. “We’ll start tomorrow morning on some more tests. Just let us know right away if anything suddenly changes.”

Tony nodded along. “How long until we can try again?”

“At least a week,” Helen replied. “Any issues that are going to come up will in the next few hours. But to be on the safe side, at least seven days to be sure.”

By way of response, Tony hopped off the bed he had been sitting on since he woke up. He was slightly unsteady on his feet at first from laying down and sitting so long, but he waved off any help from Stephen. The group stayed chatting for a few more minutes before Tony and Stephen headed back to the penthouse, leaving Bruce and Helen to pour over the data, as excited as kids on Christmas morning.

Once the door closed behind them, Stephen found himself being engulfed in a bear hug by his boyfriend, who was shaking slightly.

“What’s wrong?” Stephen asked, voice full of concern. Tony’s only response was to bury his face in Stephen’s neck. “Tony?”

A flash of panic gripped Stephen when he felt tears wetting his skin. Tony’s breathing was shaky against him, and he could feel the other man’s heart hammering against his own chest. He held Tony as tightly as he could, waiting patiently for him to be able to respond.

But it was taking just a bit too long.

“Are you in pain?” Stephen asked. Tony shook his head. Sort of, anyway. “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” Tony finally said. “I’m fine. Nothing is wrong. I’m just – fuck. Stephen. It worked.”

The taller man let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “Yeah, it did.” He pressed a kiss to the side of Tony’s head. “You did it, Tony.”

When he pulled back, Tony’s eyes were bloodshot and his face was on the pale side. Stephen frowned, moving his hand to brush the tears away from Tony’s cheeks. The gesture made him smile, but Stephen’s concern remained.

“I’m fine,” Tony repeated. “I promise. Just...tired. But a good tired. I don’t know how to explain it.” He reached out with his left hand to brush his fingers through Stephen’s hair for the first time in a long time. “I can feel you,” he all but whispered.

Gently, Stephen took Tony’s hand in his own, bringing it down to press his lips against the fingers he never thought he’d kiss or hold again. “I’m so proud of you.”

A smile instantly spread onto Tony’s face. “Just wait until you eat the dinner I’m about to make you. Proud won’t even begin to cover it.”

The protest building in Stephen’s throat died before it ever reached his lips. There could be no denying the look of elation in Tony’s eyes. He couldn’t quash that. If the genius wanted to cook for him again, Stephen was going to let him.

He would let Tony do absolutely anything to keep that smile on his face.


	11. Chapter 11

The only issue Tony had over the course of the next week was a single nightmare.

Most nights, Tony was up late reviewing just about everything there was to review. The next regeneration would be Bucky’s arm. Another full limb renewal would be a sufficient basis for all of them to move forward to Rhodey’s legs.

Then Stephen’s hands.

It had developed into an obsession, really. The thought of being able to help the two most important people in his life consumed Tony. The only reason he didn’t let them go first was because he wasn’t willing to risk any complications on them.

But with his arm going so well, it was all but certain it would work just as well for Rhodey and Stephen. And while Stephen understood Tony’s need to work through everything and feel sure it was all sorted out, he wasn’t about to let him work himself to exhaustion.

At just after midnight on the fifth night since Tony’s successful procedure, Stephen went into the lab to attempt to coax his boyfriend into bed with him. He found Tony sitting at his desk, staring down at his hand.

“Are you alright?” Stephen asked out of instinct before he could stop himself.

Tony nodded immediately and turned to look at Stephen with a smile. “Fine. Just can’t believe it sometimes. I forget that I ever lost it and then remember and I...” he trailed off, shaking his head slowly. “I wish I had figured it all out sooner. So that you wouldn’t have had to–”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Stephen said, but gently. He came to a stop next to Tony’s chair so he could wrap an arm around his shoulders and draw the genius against him. “What you’ve done is incredible. That’s the beginning and the end of it.”

A sigh escaped Tony’s lungs as he burrowed against Stephen. “Am I keeping you up?”

Stephen hummed. “You’re keeping yourself up. You need rest, Tony.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just – I know. You’re right. Let’s go to bed.”

“Really?” Stephen huffed with a raised eyebrow. “That easy all of a sudden?”

Tony stood and wrapped his arms around Stephen’s waist, moving his head to kiss across Stephen’s neck and jaw. “You know I can never say no to you.”

The urge to recount each and every time Tony had, in fact, said no to Stephen was on the tip of his tongue. It really was. But the affectionate man in his arms melted that desire away almost instantly. So instead of arguing, he lead Tony out of the lab and back to their bedroom.

Once inside, Tony maneuvered them onto the bed so that Stephen was on top of him in order to capture his lips in a slow kiss. Both of Tony’s hands threaded through Stephen’s hair, and he used his legs to hold Stephen perfectly in place as they made out. When the need for air became too much, they parted, but Stephen didn’t keep his mouth to himself for long. He kissed across Tony’s cheeks, over his nose, to his throat and back again.

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered, clinging to Stephen tightly. “I don’t know what’s wrong but I can’t – I’m sorry, Stephen. I want to but I don’t know why–”

“Tony.” The sorcerer’s voice was firm and yet gentle. He pulled back to look down into Tony’s glassy eyes. “I can’t imagine what you could possibly be apologizing to me for. If it’s what I think it is, then I’ve done something terribly wrong to make you think you need to be sorry for something you can’t control.”

“That’s the problem,” Tony sighed, tugging at Stephen until he could bury his face into his neck.

“Your body has been through so much in the last six months,” Stephen explained. “It needs some time is all. But it is not something you ever have to apologize for, do you understand?”

A weak nod came from Tony. “I just want – you deserve it after everything you’ve done for me.”

This time, Stephen moved back enough to break Tony’s grasp and move to the side to sit up. The sudden reaction made Tony’s eyes go wide in brief alarm. He knew he had said something wrong, but wasn’t quite sure what it had been. Lack of sleep tended to make him a little slower on the uptick.

“ _Deserve_ it? Tony, I don’t – there’s nothing that you owe me. If you honestly think that you _have_ to have sex with me because I...” Stephen had to swallow against the lump that began to form in his throat. “That’s not how this works.”

“I didn’t mean – Stephen, I’m sorry,” Tony said, sitting up himself and moving closer to the other man. “After everything that’s happened, I just want things to feel normal, I guess. I need to know that I didn’t ruin anything between us.”

Stephen shook his head slowly. “How could you think that? What could you have possibly done to make yourself believe that?”

“I put you in an impossible position,” Tony said as tears sprung to his eyes. “You had to cut my god damn arm off. Then you had to take care of me this whole time, deal with my pain and my mood swings and be in charge of everything all the time. I just don’t want you to think that that’s going to be the case anymore. I want to show you I’m finally okay and we can go back to normal.”

Stephen felt his heart drop at the look in Tony’s eyes. The brunet was exhausted, and his mind was playing tricks on him again. There were no words that would magically quash Tony’s anxieties. Stephen knew that. It would take a combination of words and actions and just being there to prove to the genius he was loved, regardless of whether their circumstances were considered _normal._

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t want normal.” Stephen’s words caused a frown to appear on Tony’s face. “Our relationship has never been normal. Our lives are not normal. I don’t even know what normal would entail for us, but I don’t want it. I just want you, I just want us.”

“I love you,” Tony responded the instant Stephen had stopped talking. “Please, please don’t ever doubt that. I don’t want you to think anything has changed and I just–”

The words died on his lips when they were taken over by Stephen’s. Slow, soft movements followed in the next few moments as the taller man kissed away Tony’s immediate worries. He pulled them down to the pillows, situating themselves under the covers while they stayed pressed together.

Stephen tucked his chin on the top of Tony’s head and let out a breath. “I love you too,” he promised into his hair. “That’s all we need, Tony. Everything else will sort itself out like it always does. I don’t care what else may be going on. Nothing is going to come between us.”

It was Tony’s intention to reply, but the feeling of being engulfed in Stephen’s arms was steadily pushing him towards sleep. So he mumbled another _I love you_ and wrapped himself securely around the other man.

A few hours later, Tony woke up laying on his left side. He huffed at the loss of warmth from Stephen’s body, and immediately turned to seek it out. He shuffled across the mattress and went to extend his left arm around Stephen.

But it wasn’t there.

Panic gripped him. Tony looked wildly down to the empty space where his arm had been when he fell asleep. He could still feel it. Falling onto his back, he looked at where he had just been laying to find his arm there, detached from his body, fingers twitching helplessly.

With a gasp, Tony woke up. For real this time.

He shot straight upwards, breath coming in pants and heart hammering in his chest. But his arm was there. Still attached to his shoulder, where it should be. It was a little numb from the angle he had been sleeping on it for so long, but he had feeling in his fingers. Everything was fine.

Except he woke Stephen.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was deep and sleep laced, but still full of concern.

It took Tony a second to catch his breath. “Nothing,” he exhaled. “I’m sorry, baby. I had a bad dream. It was – it’s fine. I’m okay. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

In the dark, Stephen was still able to study Tony’s face. He could see the remnants of the dream leaving his eyes rapidly, his breathing slowly evening out. Before he could ask anything else, Tony was pulling him back against the pillows, snuggling up against him.

“You sure you’re okay?” Stephen asked, sliding his hand up and down Tony’s side soothingly.

A kiss to Stephen’s lips preceded his response. “Yeah. Just a nightmare. I’m good. Go back to sleep.”

After huddling back against each other, they did.


	12. Chapter 12

Bucky’s procedure went even better than Tony’s.

They were prepared for the after affects this time. Anti-nausea medication was administered, as well as additional fluids, so when Bucky woke up he didn’t get sick to his stomach or have a headache. The tingling sensation was still there, but went away faster than it had for Tony.

That was a week ago. No complications followed.

Rhodey was up next.

A marked difference came with this procedure. He wouldn’t be put under due to the fact that he wasn’t regenerating a limb, but rather healing nerves, muscles and tendons. The same would hold true for Stephen. Rhodey’s procedure would take about four hours; Stephen’s around two and a half.

For the entire time Rhodey was hooked up to the cradle and laying completely still, Tony sat next to him and talked to him. Several times, Stephen had to warn Tony to stop making his best friend of thirty years laugh so as not to mess anything up.

But nothing was messed up. After four hours exactly, the process was complete, and the cradle fell away from the lower half of Rhodey’s body.

Helen and Stephen took over in the spots next to him. Tony retreated slowly, listening intently to everything that was said. Similar tests that were done on Tony and Bucky’s arms were run on his legs. Rhodey had feeling on his feet and toes for the first time since his fall. Tears came to his eyes when he was able to move them completely on his own, without the need for braces supporting the muscles.

When the pair of doctors finally stepped back, Rhodey looked up to find Tony on the other side of the room, standing against the wall. The colonel carefully got off the bed, and the second his feet were under him, he knew.

He knew it had worked.

It wasn’t a sprint, exactly, but Rhodey crossed the room so quickly it might as well have been. He all but tackled Tony into a hug, who didn’t even try and cushion the impact and just fell back against the wall behind him, hugging Rhodey just as hard.

The strength in the colonel’s legs was able to keep them upright during their embrace.

No one in the room dared to interrupt them.

“Thank you,” Rhodey sobbed more than said into Tony’s shoulder. “Tones you – oh my god. Thank you.”

“It was my fault,” Tony forced out through the lump in his throat. “It should have never happened. I’m so sorry it took me so long to fix. I would have cut my arm off years ago if I knew–”

“Shut up, you idiot.” Rhodey’s eyes fixed hard on Tony as he pulled back. “We’ve been over this. It wasn’t your fault. But this...you gave me something I never thought I would have again. I know you got your arm back, so you understand. God, I hope you understand how lucky I am to have you as my best friend.”

Tony couldn’t reply with words, so he settled for hugging Rhodey again as if his life depended on it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I decided to post three chapters this go around because of how short they are. The final two will be up Saturday!
> 
> Again, thanks for reading!

Tony designed a special cradle for Stephen’s hands, which came as a surprise to the former neurosurgeon.

It looked like a machine you would find in a nail salon. Sleek and compact, with just enough room for a pair of hands to slip into. The table it rested on was adjusted to the appropriate height for Stephen, as was the plush leather chair he would remain in during the procedure.

“The injection is going to be uncomfortable,” Helen warned as she readied the serum. “Sending it straight into the bloodstream of your hands is the best way. But it shouldn’t last too long.”

Stephen wanted to laugh. As if those few moments of additional pain could be worse than what he’s endured so far. But he knew Helen was just being kind, just doing her job. Which she was fantastic at.

“I’m ready,” he said with a short nod.

Once again, Tony sat by his side throughout, but this time he didn’t say a word. Stephen was watching the monitors and readouts intently. The scan showing the progress never left his vision for more than a second or two. So Tony sat still and quiet, the only movement being his hand on Stephen’s knee, squeezing periodically.

The same knee he had squeezed that day under all that rubble.

After less than an hour, the pain was completely gone from Stephen’s hands. An odd feeling replaced it, but it wasn’t unpleasant. And when the miniaturized cradle opened, that was gone as well.

Slowly, Stephen raised his hands, staring down at them. They were completely steady. As pale as the rest of his body, but no paler. He slowly curled his fingers into tight fists before flexing them outwards again and repeating the action several times.

“Give me your hand.”

He didn’t recognize his own voice, but knew he must have been the one to speak when Tony extended his own hand out towards Stephen. The sorcerer carefully took it between both of his. When his skin met Tony’s, and he could feel the warmth between his palms and nothing else, he almost sobbed.

Without a discussion, Tony began the initial actions of the preliminary tests on Stephen’s hands. Gently running his fingers across his palm. Mimicking the other exercises Stephen had had him do a month ago. Checking that he could feel temperature. His circulation. Everything.

It was all perfect.

“I can’t–” Stephen began, but couldn’t find any more words for the time being.

Tony settled a hand on Stephen’s shoulder, not wanting to impede his view of his hands. “No pain at all?” Stephen just shook his head. “Do you feel okay?”

“You fixed my hands.”

“It wasn’t just–”

“Tony. You fixed my hands. I – fuck. Thank you. This is...”

Just as patiently as he had during the procedure, Tony sat next to his boyfriend quietly and waited for him to get a handle on everything he was feeling.

It took longer than Stephen would ever admit.

In fact, it wasn’t until later that night, when they were alone together in their bed in the penthouse, that Stephen was able to fully express to Tony how he felt.

There was nothing Tony could do to stop the force of Stephen. Not that he wanted to, of course. The sorcerer finally being able to utilize his hands in all the ways he wanted was doing wonders for Tony as well.

The feeling of a strong grasp stroking him until he was right on the edge. Dexterous, sure fingers spreading him open. Steady hands holding his hips to bring their bodies together over and over until they were finally spent.

At the end of it, Stephen’s hands were shaking again, but to be fair, so was his entire body.

“Everything still feel okay?”

Tony’s voice was laced with exhaustion. It made Stephen smile and tug the other man’s arms around him tighter. His hands were planted over Tony’s, the brunet behind him, head tucked into the crook of Stephen’s neck as they struggled to stay awake.

Stephen wasn’t quite ready to sleep just yet, though.

With a sigh, he nodded. “Yeah, totally fine. I still can’t believe it. The pain is just...gone. It’s been so god damn long.”

Chapped lips mapped the skin across Stephen’s exposed shoulder. “I’m so glad, baby,” he breathed. “You never deserved to go through that.”

Anticipating Stephen disagreeing with that, Tony sank his teeth into the meat of Stephen’s shoulder. A startled gasp came from the taller man currently being spooned, but it dissolved into a laugh.

“I love you,” he said instead. “More than you’re ever going to understand.”


	14. Chapter 14

The next hurdle was figuring out how to make the cradle and serum available to everyone who needed it.

“We’re going to lie.”

Tony’s statement earned various looks from Helen, Bruce and Stephen. The mild-mannered scientist was the first to respond.

“Lie about, what, exactly?” Bruce asked.

“All of it,” Tony replied. “Well, I’m going to do most of the lying, really. No one can know that I had anything to do with this.”

Helen shook her head. “And why is that?”

“Because Stark Industries will sue the fuck out of all of us,” Tony answered. “They’ll argue that they should have had first dibs on this technology.”

“But they don’t have exclusive rights to your creations,” Helen protested. “Everything you’ve developed for the Avengers, they haven’t had any stake in that.”

“This will be different,” Tony replied. “This is worth trillions. More than anything else I’ve designed. Which is why we can’t let any pharmaceutical companies near it.”

A nod came from Bruce. “So what are you suggesting?”

“This was all you and Helen. You developed it exclusively with Helen’s research team backed by private funding that I’ll hide so it won’t link back to me. The Avengers will then make it a priority, and fund the cradles and other equipment that will be needed at the hospitals in order to make this available to everyone. Regardless of financial limitations. It has to be free.”

“Free?” Helen echoed in disbelief. “I agree that this has to be widely available. It’s going to change so many lives. But how can we just give it away?”

Tony shrugged. “Because I’m going to pay for it.”

The next hour consisted of looking over spreadsheets that Tony had prepared for this very situation. Thanks to his insane fortune and access to almost unlimited resources, Tony would easily be able to foot the bill for the projected amount of needed cradles and serum production for the estimated number of patients. With plenty left to spare.

“So you want Helen and I to say we did this all on our own,” Bruce started. “And then we came to you for additional funding, and you just agreed to pay for it all out of pocket so that whoever needs this can have access to it.”

“Yeah,” Tony said, as if it really were the simplest thing in the world. “We’ll have to build clinics at first, I bet. It might take a while to get into hospitals. They’ll have push back from the pharmaceutical companies. But eventually, every hospital in the world will have at least one cradle. I think I can get FDA approval by this time next year. At that point, we’ll have sites in every state, in every country, ready to go.”

Stephen was staring at Tony in awe. “How long have you had this all figured out?”

Tony smirked. “A while. It only took a few hours. I’m pretty good at math.”

“Understatement of the year,” Bruce muttered.

Helen put her hands up. “I can’t take all the credit for something that isn’t mine,” she argued. “It’s not right. Without the serum none of this would have been possible, and I didn’t do anything in regards to it.”

“You’ve got it backwards,” Tony replied. “Without your cradle, the Extremis serum is useless. I promise you, there will be no risk to you. Everything has been documented and will be reported as a legitimate study. It doesn’t matter who gets the credit. What matters is who gets to use what we’ve created here to better their lives. Battling lawyers for years on end isn’t worth it. We need to streamline this and get it out there as fast as we can.”

In the end, not a single person could disagree with Tony.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the final chapter.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read, commented, kudos'd, everything. It's always very much appreciated. 
> 
> I have several other WIPs going at the moment that I'm working on wrapping up, so keep an eye out for those :)
> 
> Hope everyone is staying safe and sane!

**TONY STARK NO LONGER A BILLIONAIRE**

The headline stood out against the white marble of the counter where it rested next to Stephen’s cup of tea. He had glanced at it only briefly before pulling out the crossword puzzle and getting to work.

For the last three years, Stephen was able to do it by hand.

Regaining the complete use of his hands had been overwhelming at first. He found himself breaking down in tears at being able to shave, dress, make breakfast. All without any indication of pain. Having sex with Tony without any issues getting in their way. Holding his hand for longer than a few minutes at a time.

The puzzle was almost completed when Tony appeared behind him, wrapping his arms around Stephen’s neck and resting his chin on the top of his head.

“Eighteen down is _pineapple.”_

Stephen huffed a laugh. “No it’s not.”

“It fits.”

“That doesn’t make it correct.”

“Just write _pineapple_ so you can pay attention to me,” Tony whined dramatically.

“I’ll be done by the time you finish making breakfast. I promise.”

With a kiss to Stephen’s cheek, Tony released him and set about cooking said breakfast without an argument. The newspaper caught his eye, and made him smile.

“Sorry you’re stuck dating a lowly multi-millionaire now,” he sighed.

Stephen smirked, but kept his eyes on his paper. “Don’t worry. I don’t plan on getting rid of you until you fall below the five-hundred million mark. At that point, though, I’ll have to move on.”

“That’s reasonable,” Tony said with a shrug. “You have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle at this point. I can’t say I blame you.”

“Thank you for understanding. Let’s just enjoy the time we have left together.”

At that, Tony couldn’t stop himself from laughing, and the sound made Stephen do the same. The sorcerer looked up to really see the former billionaire for the first time that morning. Tony’s hair was on the longer side again, curling around his ears and neck, partially hiding the patches of gray that were starting to appear. His cheeks were flushed with the warmth from sleep, eyes clear and alert.

In a word, beautiful.

With only two clues left, Stephen abandoned his crossword to watch Tony make them pancakes. He mixed both blueberries and chocolate chips into the batter, a combination that resulted from one of their light-hearted arguments at the beginning of their relationship that stuck around for the long haul.

Just as he was dishing the pancakes out onto their plates, Tony noticed Stephen looking at him. He raised an eyebrow, and was about to inquire, but the sorcerer beat him to it.

“You could have given up.”

The words made Tony freeze for a moment before he let his hands fall to his sides. He looked into Stephen’s icy blue eyes, seeing a mix of emotions there. Love. Resolved grief. Exhaustion. Wonder.

“That was never an option,” Tony eventually managed to reply.

“It would have been more than understandable,” Stephen argued, mostly thinking out loud. “But you never, ever did. And you saved so many lives, changed so many lives. I just – god, Tony. I can’t even begin to explain to you how much I adore you.”

Abandoning the food for the time being, Tony went around the island to where Stephen was sitting. He stood between his knees, bringing his arms up to rest on Stephen’s shoulders and leaning down to kiss him sweetly.

“You give me far too much credit, Stephen,” Tony breathed. “None of this would have happened without you. I wouldn’t even be here without you.”

Arguing would get him nowhere, Stephen knew that. And it wasn’t the point. The point was that they were both here, and they were together.

Pain free. For the first time in an incredibly long time.

“But you are,” Stephen sighed, pulling Tony closer against him. “I just wish I could tell you how happy that makes me.”

Tony smiled into another kiss. “You don’t have to. That smile of yours speaks volumes, honey. I hope you know I feel the same way.”

The next several minutes consisted of slow, drawn out kisses while they stayed in each other’s arms. Stephen was finally the one to pull away with an exaggerated sigh.

“Alright, enough sap for one day,” he declared. “Those pancakes smell way too good to ignore any longer.”

“Really? I lose out that easily to pancakes?” Tony huffed, but went over to retrieve the food with a smile nonetheless.

“I wouldn’t say lost out,” Stephen replied. “I just want to get my energy up to devote my full attention to you.”

The smile didn’t leave Tony’s lips as he slid into the seat next to Stephen, putting a plate in front of him before turning to his own. They took their time, savoring the sweetness of the breakfast Tony made for them. Over the course of the meal they laughed and talked about nothing in particular, just enjoying being there with one another.

As soon as they were done, Stephen gathered up their plates and brought them over to the sink, where he began washing them by hand. Tony never tried to fight him for this task; he knew how much Stephen relished in the fact that he could easily wash dishes without dropping things or causing himself any pain. It didn’t matter that they had a top of the line appliance right next to the sink. More often than not, the sorcerer cleaned whatever he could by hand. Unless Tony was dragging him to the couch for a movie. Or the bedroom.

But for this morning, Tony had something different in mind. After watching Stephen for a few moments he got up and went to the other side of the counter. In the time it took Stephen to finish his chore, Tony had prepared a cup of coffee for himself, and tea for his lover.

“Here,” Tony said, holding the mug out towards Stephen. “Test it first, to make sure I didn’t screw it up.”

Stephen just shook his head. “You didn’t. It’s perfect.”

To stop any rebuttal, Stephen planted his lips firmly to Tony’s before ushering him outside.

The early autumn air greeted them as they stepped out onto the back porch. The sun was shining on the lake, casting thousands of sparkles across the perfectly still water. It wasn’t quite cool enough to need a blanket, but that didn’t stop the pair from snuggling under one on the outdoor couch anyway. Stephen used the arm that wasn’t holding his mug to wrap around Tony’s shoulders, drawing the shorter man against him until Tony sighed happily and rested his head on Stephen’s chest.

Unfortunately, they had a busy day ahead of them. With their various responsibilities, that was more often the case than it wasn’t. But for the moment, they didn’t have to think about anything other than the warm drinks in their hands, the beautiful sunshine, and the feeling of the person they loved most in the world under the blanket next to them.


End file.
